2018 – First Day to …

First day to nowhere. And no I’m not being a defeatist or sad or morbid or dreary. I’m actually feeling lighter and liberated right this minute.

Why? Because my “nowhere” is an open slate. Permission for me to not be shackled by hard end resolutions and mandates for me to reach. Whatever comes, comes.

My “nowhere” is kinder and wiser and alot more loving and way more forgiving. Because if 2017 taught me anything is that I don’t have time nor room in my life for judgemental and tight-ass thinkers of me and my own. Let go and let be.

My “nowhere” is not no movement, no action, no growth, no ambition. Rather my first day to “nowhere” is my jumping point towards reaquainting myself with the brave me of yesterday, today, and the future that needs no resolution to become a more fabulous me, I’m already that, imperfections and all, foul mouth and all, wrong side of the tracks and all, loud and spirited and wild haired singing in the car at 50 years of age with a coffee stained white t-shirt carrying 20 or so of extra weight and squeezed tightly into her old running tights.

Still here.

Still here after all the falls and bumps, still here, still here, still here. And I’d rather keep this banged up old survivor around then try to change her with resolutions to meet some tight-assed uppity old white woman’s perception of what classy and political correctedness looks like on a brown college educated woman. As if.

So….

My first day to “nowhere” is 2018 and I’ve never felt more liberated, more equal, more free to take up space as I am. As I am.

As.

I.

Am.

– The above was written by me MRR , in Coronado, California in January 1, 2017, soaking in a bathtub and feeling more than alright.

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